So I've been told I'm weird...as much as I would love to go out and try on every cute hat out there like every other ritzy rich girl who has that kind of time and energy...I can't get past the thought of trying on a hat in the store. Don't get me wrong...I'm not like anti-hat or anything...some people got the look...I however having a round head it generally only makes it rounder and chubbier - enough that even if you are under the age of 65 you'd come up and pinch my cheeks because, well it's annoying and funny as hell at the same time.
So I was at Menards the other day since it's the closest store to my new place....yes a hardware store before a grocery store that's high class farm-town living! They had a random assortment of these hats in the bin (see right). So of course...it's purple and freakishly adorable I picked it up and it's got a nice soft fleece lining and it's probably perfect to wear at my corporate-like job. Nothing says professional than a children's monster hat. Being the short and cute variety, most children's thing do in fact fit my head and face...case in point my 7 soon to be 8 year old nephew can exchange sunglasses, hats and shoes with me no problem.
So going back to my point...I was about ready to try this baby on to make sure my head had not swelled up with any new praises or compliments as of late...but a thought popped in my head...LICE. Yeah...I dropped that sucker back in the bin and slowly stepped back like I just murdered someone and had to take that dramatic pause back to pan out for the camera so the audience can see what I just did. Every time I want to try on something at the store that's my initial thought...not exactly lice...but just the generally cleanliness of other people. While most people are germapohpics and carry around hand sanitizers and sprays and probably will Lysol your eyes out if you so much as think about coughing because your throat is dry and not because your white blood cell count is up, how often do people actually clean themselves? Thinking about the dollar bill having more residue of feces on it than toilets is rather grim some. It's made me really wish at times I wouldn't get random genius thoughts that make me see the light or rather black light. Just a dampening thought to officially screw your head up. You're welcome!!!
This was brought upon a recent article in the local newspaper (yes, paper not the internets) about a recent lice outbreak in schools in the area. It's creepy just thinking about the unwashed future generation spreading lice.