Thursday, July 18, 2013

The soon to be the bain of my existence......

Jimmy Johns. Seriously. Now why you it because they are TOO freaky fast with their deliveries? Their food is so oh delicious that you just can't help to love them that it's causing you so much discomfort that you can't eat them all day long? Oh no it's quite the opposite. At one of my many present employers (we'll go more into my workaholic self later) whenever we have a lunch in it's ALWAYS Jimmy Johns. ALWAYS. No exception at all ever. While everyone else in my office is quite content with this set up and apparently it's been  the favorite for a LONG TIME I've decided to make a game out of it. Well mostly I'm sick of eating subs all the time and matter how many types of subs they have...they all taste like bread. So my new goal in life is to see if before a) I *finally* get a job in my actual college degree profession b) get fired c) win the lottery (but remember kids you have to play to actually win it doesn't just happen like Publisher Clearings House) or d) get stampeded by a pack of ravaging prairie dogs I can eat every single sub on Jimmy's menu. It's like bingo without the shouting and old bengay people smell.

The Proof: 

Friend: So how was your day?

Me: Jimmy Johns

Friend: What?

Me: If you ever suggest Jimmy Johns when I ask you where do you want to eat just know that I won't be held accountable for the stabbing that will take place.

Friend: Should I comfort you or be afraid for all the Jimmy John employees?

Me: A little of both.

Friend: I'm pretty sure you will be held accountable for a stabbing but I'm not a lawyer I just play one on Saturdays.

So my progress so far on the Jimmy's menu.

#1 Pepe 
#2 Big John
#3 Totally Tuna
#4 Turkey Tom
#5 Vito
#6 Vegetarian
#7 Gourmet Smoked Ham Club
#8 Billy Club
#9 Italian Night Club
#10 Hunter's Club
#11 Country Club
#12 Beach Club
#13 Gourmet Veggie Club
#14 Bootlegger Club
#15 Club Tuna
#16 Club Lulu
#17 Ultimate Porker
#     J.J.B.L.T. (Why no number Jimmy!??!)
#     The J.J. Gargantuan

This will be updated as we have lunch-ins and probably more curse words and such will be added each time. So do you have a restaurant that you hate?  Just the name makes you want to go out find a tree and kick it?

I think my cat sums up my evil state to Jimmy John's pretty nicely.

Update: Now Jimmy John's is mocking me. How funny Jimmy....I think a badass round of table tennis with our hands tied behind our backs is GAME ON! 

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